Book of Mormon, D & C, Pearl of Great Price

The Book of Mormon begins with a celebration of good parents. Nephi, who was a teenager when the Book of Mormon begins, but a grown man by the time he began to record his record, wrote, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents…”

Nephi’s parents were Lehi and Sariah. Parenting wasn't easy for them. Lehi was a wealthy planter, but rather than enjoy his comfortable life and the privileges of wealth, he accepted God’s call to be a prophet. He, along with others in his time, were sent to try to convince the people to repent or face destruction. The people, naturally, weren’t too thrilled to have their sins pointed out to them and Lehi’s life was in danger. He and Sariah packed up a few essentials and took their family into the wilderness to a place God promised to provide for them.

Their two oldest children, Laman and Lemuel, were determined not to be good sports about this. They lacked faith, and didn’t believe God expected them to leave their comfortable home to go on an extended camping trip, into a world none of them knew about. Their younger sons, Sam and Nephi, followed the teachings of the gospel and their parents, however. Nephi, although the youngest child at the time, was to be his father’s successor and lead the church. Sam accepted this, because he had faith, but Laman and Lemuel consistently resented their younger brother’s right to rule over them, even when instructed to follow him by an angel. Repeatedly, they tormented their younger brother, even trying to kill him at various times. After the death of their parents, Nephi led the righteous portion of the family away from the rest for their own safety, and two groups, Nephites and Lamanites, were formed.

All of this must have challenged Laman and Sariah throughout their years. Clearly they were righteous people, and Nephi honored them, calling them goodly. They must have been good parents, doing all they could to raise their children in righteousness, and yet they lost two of their children to wickedness. However, Sam, Nephi, and the two younger brothers born in the wilderness stayed steadfast in the gospel.

James E. Faust, a member of the First Presidency until his recent death, asked, “Who are good parents? They are those who have lovingly, prayerfully, and earnestly tried to teach their children by example and precept ‘to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.’” Lehi and Sariah most certainly did those things. The scriptures record numerous times when Lehi gathered his family and instructed them in the ways of God. The younger brothers also worked to help their older brothers gain a testimony. The entire family worked together to try to keep from losing their two oldest boys and to reclaim them after they were lost. In fact, even after the two groups separated, the Nephites continued to send missionaries to them in hopes of reclaiming the brothers, and later their descendants.

President Faust reassured parents that the way their children turned out is not necessarily a reflection on their parenting skills. If they did the right things, they are good parents, regardless of the choices their parents made. If they neglect to care for their children and to teach them correct principles, they are held accountable even if the children turn out well.

We lived before we were born, and so we brought with us the spirits and personalities we had there. We have agency, so each of us must choose for ourselves, even children. President Faust offered this comfort to parents whose children have chosen a wrong path:

“I believe and accept the comforting statement of Elder Orson F. Whitney:
'The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.”
A principle in this statement that is often overlooked is that they must fully repent and ‘suffer for their sins’ and ‘pay their debt to justice.’ I recognize that now is the time “to prepare to meet God.” If the repentance of the wayward children does not happen in this life, is it still possible for the cords of the sealing to be strong enough for them yet to work out their repentance? In the Doctrine and Covenants we are told, ‘The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God,
‘And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation.’”James E. Faust, “Dear Are the Sheep That Have Wandered,” Ensign, May 2003, 61

It is heartbreaking to watch a child follow a path you know will ultimately lead to suffering and sorrow. However, even when it seems there is nothing we can do, we can pray, live righteously, and trust God to take care of the rest.

The Book of Mormon begins with the story of a prophet named Lehi, commanded by God to preach repentance to the people of Jerusalem. The people didn’t care for the message, even when warned the city would be destroyed if they chose not to listen. Instead, they wanted to kill the messenger. And so, God instructed Lehi to gather his family and whatever supplies were essential to their survival, and head into the wilderness, toward a promised land God would provide for them.

Lehi’s two oldest sons were rebellious. They resented giving up their comfortable live as the son of a wealthy planter. Throughout the course of their lives, they would whine and fuss about everything.

After the family had been traveling for some time, God instructed Lehi to send his four sons back to Jerusalem to obtain some important records. These records contained the scriptures and their genealogy. True to form, Laman and Lemuel didn’t want to go.

1 Nephi 3:1 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, returned from speaking with the Lord, to the tent of my father.

2 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, saying: Behold I have dreamed a dream, in the which the Lord hath commanded me that thou and thy brethren shall return to Jerusalem.

3 For behold, Laban hath the record of the Jews and also a genealogy of my forefathers, and they are engraven upon plates of brass.

4 Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me that thou and thy brothers should go unto the house of Laban, and seek the records, and bring them down hither into the wilderness.

5 And now, behold thy brothers murmur, saying it is a hard thing which I have required of them; but behold I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the Lord.

6 Therefore go, my son, and thou shalt be favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured.

7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

Let’s take a moment to look at how the brothers reacted. The two oldest complained, saying, “It’s too hard!” Throughout the journey, they would continue to find everything too hard, and would be too eager to give up each time they faced a challenge in the assignment.
Nephi, on the other hand, did not complain. He said, in essence, “If God wants me to do it, then He will make it possible.” Because of his attitude, he was the one who obtained the plates they sought, even though it was indeed very hard.

Later, when the boys have returned and the family has traveled a bit further, God again instructs Lehi to send his sons back to Jerusalem. Ahh, but this time Laman and Lemuel don’t complain. They have to travel even further than before, but there is not one recorded word about it being too hard. Why not? Because their father is sending them back to get wives to take with them. Apparently they liked this commandment, and a journey that had been too hard before was suddenly no trouble at all.

It’s so much easier to keep the commandments we like, that line up with our own desires, isn’t it? The secret, then, is to align our will with God’s. Heavenly Father isn’t going to change the commandments just because we find them inconvenient or too hard. Therefore, we’re the ones who need to change. When we decide that everything God wants us to do is also what we want to do, obedience becomes easy.

This comes down to faith. We have to trust God to know what is best for us, even when what He asks is difficult. If we knew that cleaning our kitchen would earn us a thousand dollars next Tuesday, we’d have that kitchen cleaned days in advance. The blessings God has promised us for obedience are of far greater value than one thousand dollars. Surely we can find in them motivation to make the very best choices for our lives.

When you’re feeling sluggish about obedience, revisit the lives of Nephi and his brothers. You’ll find the inspiration you need to “go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.”

One important aspect of faith is that Heavenly Father knows everything. It seems obvious, but sometimes, in our day to day lives, we forget to act on this knowledge.
“But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accompish all this works among the children on men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.” (1 Nephi 9:6)

We look at life from a very limited perspective. We see what is happening right now, and we often see it from a perspective of what we think would be best for us. Heavenly Father is looking at the world from an eternal perspective. Our little bit of time here on earth is important to Him because He loves us dearly, but He also has to see things from the larger perspective. He, like any good parent, knows that sometimes what we think would be best for us would not be best at all, perhaps not for us, and perhaps not best for others who would be affected by our request were it granted.

One of my favorite stories for understanding this is the story of Abinadi, in the Book of Mormon, the book of Mosiah, chapter 11. Abinadi was a prophet, sent by God to preach to the Nephites. They had come under the rule of a wicked king named Noah, who taught them to live a wicked life. Abinadi called them to repentance, instructing them to abandon the teachings of their wicked king. Needless to say, King Noah was not pleased with Abinadi’s message and wanted him captured and arrested.

Two years later, Abinadi returned and again preached repentance. He prophesied the destruction of the people and the king’s death if they didn’t repent. He was arrested and taken before the king. After listening to Abinadi’s preaching for a while, he commanded his priests to kill Abinadi, claiming Abinadi was mad. However, when these armed and powerful soldiers surrounded Abinadi, he said,

“Mosiah 13:3 Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me, for I have not delivered the message which the Lord sent me to deliver; neither have I told you that which ye requested that I should tell; therefore, God will not suffer that I shall be destroyed at this time.

4 But I must fulfil the commandments wherewith God has commanded me; and because I have told you the truth ye are angry with me. And again, because I have spoken the word of God ye have judged me that I am mad.

5 Now it came to pass after Abinadi had spoken these words that the people of king Noah durst not lay their hands on him, for the Spirit of the Lord was upon him; and his face shone with exceeding luster, even as Moses’ did while in the mount of Sinai, while speaking with the Lord.

6 And he spake with power and authority from God; and he continued his words, saying:

7 Ye see that ye have not power to slay me, therefore I finish my message. Yea, and I perceive that it cuts you to your hearts because I tell you the truth concerning your iniquities.

8 Yea, and my words fill you with wonder and amazement, and with anger.

9 But I finish my message; and then it matters not whither I go, if it so be that I am saved.”

Mosiah went on to deliver the message God sent him to deliver. The king and most of his followers were unmoved, but one man, a priest named Alma, felt the spirit and knew what Abinadi was teaching was true. He pleaded with the king to spare the prophet’s life, but instead, the king also ordered Alma’s death. Alma flees.

Over the years, I’ve taught this story to many children. Children are upset that Alma leaves. They want him to stay and rescue Abinadi. Abinadi, having delivered his message and converted Alma, is put to death.The children, looking at the story only from the perspective of their love for Abinadi, are upset that Abinadi is allowed to die and that Alma did nothing to help.

They are unable, at that moment, to see the eternal perspective. Abinadi himself had said that once he delivered his message, he could die. His purpose was to convert Alma, which he did. Alma would most likely not have been able to defend the prophet against an army, and would have been killed himself.

From an eternal perspective, this would have been a disaster. Alma went on to convert many people. From his lineage would come those who were present when the Savior appeared to the Nephites. Both he and Abinadi fulfilled their purposes in God’s plan.

In our own lives, we must always be aware that we may not understand God’s choices for our lives because we see through a limited perspective, but God, who sees all of eternity and knows the end from the beginning, can make wiser choices. We may not always understand, but we can have faith.